Time has flown by, just flown. I feel like I've been pregnant for about 20 minutes. Well, when I'm not thinking about all the lack of sleep and discomfort, you know. I'm so excited. My husband is so excited. We sit together and talk about what he'll look like, how we think he'll do through surgery, our worries, and how we can't wait to hold him. We're packing and tying up last minute details. We're trying to get everything straight with our families and friends that want to be there for us.
I can't believe I have to say goodbye to my belly already. He's safe and well cared for in there, except for the occasional fast food meal, and we're both pretty cool with him hanging out where he is. I wonder if I'll miss the random pokes to the ribs or those jabs to the bladder. Right now I know he's not too hot or too cold, he's not hungry, I'm sure of that one. But all the guessing and trial and error starts soon, and while I can't wait to hear his voice, I know I'll want to fix whatever is making him cry, and I'll have a list of things to tick off trying to figure it out. I am a novice, it will be confusing, but we'll figure it out.
We could not have been more blessed with support for this birth, my husband's parents, his brother, and my father will all be there for us. If any of them are fearful or discouraged by Kemper's Spina Bifida, you would never know it. That's what we need right now. People that can support us through this, then ask questions and share concerns. I have some really wonderful friends that will be there too, bringing food, running errands, and just being there for us. I feel so lucky to have so much love and support.
I wish though, that my Mom were alive to share this with, that she'd been able to be at mine and my sister's weddings, the births of my sister's children, to meet my wonderful husband whom she would just adore. For my family to have known her gentleness, to hear her colorful stories about growing up on a farm, to hear her laugh... would have been wonderful. I know she is watching over me and my husband, I know she won't miss a thing the day Kemper is born. When Brett proposed to me so long ago, he took me to the beach where my Mom's ashes are scattered. It was overcast and drizzling and I remember sitting in the sand just kind of talking to her. A few minutes later the clouds opened up right above us and the sun came shining down just around us. I felt like she was saying "Hi! I am so happy you're about to marry this boy and I love you!" It was a powerful moment for both me and my husband. We'll be taking Kemper to that beach as soon as we can.
My next blog will of course, be all about the new baby. Pictures included!! So thank you all for keeping up with me, for your positivity, and well wishes. I look forward to showing off my baby boy.